to everyone

i can't even begin to express my gratitude for the support that my family has received these last couple of weeks and continues to receive. all of the prayers and thoughts and help and flowers and cards, each one has played a different role in healing rowan, in uplifting our family, and reminding us how not alone in this we are.

i apologize that i don't respond to every instagram, facebook, and twitter comment - daily my head spins circles around rowan and her schedules and meds and doctors and progress. just know that i read every one and literally feel all of the love wrap around my daughter and i.

tomorrow will be day three at the children's hospital rehab unit. it has been an adjustment changing from hospital to hospital but i am blown away by her therapy team and how they come in knowing just how to talk to rowan and help her so that she is happy, feels comfortable, and continues to have progress - it is such a blessing that we live so close to a facility like this and can use it.

my sister set up a facebook page that she tries to update daily, after sending me fifty texts asking for one, haha. but, i do most of my updating on instagram lately with fun photos to document rowan's daily going ons so she has something to look back on, because our guess is she won't remember a lot of this, which is good news.

rowan is otherwise totally healthy, we have just begun the long road of healing her brain injury and guiding her through gaining back what was forgotten motor skill wise. it is so promising to see that despite her inability to do a lot, she still does a lot - we were playing ipad games today and she could do everything it asked perfectly. "touch the fruit that starts with o" no problem! "touch the triangle" she got it!

continued prayers for my little blonde and our family are always appreciated. each night rowan and i specifically pray for her talking to come back and we pray for her team to have patience and guidance for getting rowan thought this bump in the road. thank you again for everything you all have done!

things go awry sometimes

this has to be a nightmare right? a constant horrifying loop where i am living in a hospital, my daughter was on a ventilator thirty-six hours ago,and we have a long road of recovery ahead of us. i can't even go into too much detail about things right now, even just thinking on it for long breaks my heart all over again. how did we get here? how did rota-virus turn into this current brain impairment?

long story short rowan suffered from a infection that shut down her motor skills - things got very bad before they started to get better. today, she is improving in strides but it is as they always say, "one step forward two steps back..." and that has been the hardest part about this whole thing. this morning we were going home in a few days and by the afternoon we were looking at a transfer to seattle children's and three weeks of inpatient rehab and therapy (this is worst case scenario so for all intents and purposes, let's just go about thinking rowan, being the fire cracker she is, will kick this things butt and be the "good" case results).

don't take your kids health for granted - rowan is sad and constantly twists and fidgets in a bed that causes her discomfort because some kid spread rota-virus on something rowan touched...

we got off the vent on friday, moved out of the icu saturday, smiled and ate on sunday, got our ivs and wires out, laughed and talked in our sleep and walked with support on monday. tuesday is going to kick butt, i know it. i can't even begin to thank everyone who has had rowan in their thoughts and prayers. i have literally felt each one wrapped around her and our family. the kindness from our friends near and far has brought tears to my eyes and the same time providing me with hope is easily one of my saddest moments.

i told a friend that i usually have difficulty relying on others, taking so much - but one thing this whole experience is teaching me and that is sometimes you just have to hand "it" all over. i am not sure i would be surviving without the revolving door of those to listen to me vent and see me cry that bring me coffee and snuggle my kids when i can't.

eventually i'll talk more about her diagnosis and the whole story, because what is happening is rare enough, if i can settle even one mamas heart then it is worth reliving it, but i am not there yet. for now we look at everything she has over come so far, today i made rowan giggle and then i ugly cried tears of joy for an hour after. when rowan's friend came to visit and she realized who it was, she smiled. then today during PT she walked assisted. life is good in its own way.

she isn't talking but i am not discouraged, she isn't using her hands a ton but she seeing movement return to them gives me so much hope for a quick recovery. we love the nurses here and tim and i laugh about the, younger then us, resident who is really going fond of rowan. she plays possum with the doctors, letting them believe that she can do less then we see her do all day long. i am glad in the midst of everything going on, the confusion she must be feeling in her head, that she still has a sense of humor.

tim is taken a lot of time of work and if your a single income family then you know what that will mean for us. i try not to think about that too much right now - i'd live in a one room apartment as long as it was filled with rowan's laughter again. mri, ct, spinal tap are all things i am nervous to see listed on a bill but so trivial and unimportant in the moment. i miss my little kids and they miss me. robin's and my nursing relationship will never be the same and that makes me sad like you will never know.

my brain is fried, my weight is down, my texts are full of errors but i have hope in healing and faith in His hands over my daughter. keep us in your prayers - for healing, for peace, for guidance  for answers, for rowan to be herself again.

xoxo,
melissa

All the Advice I Have to Give about Babywearing

As a baby-wearing mom of four, I loved reading Lili Kalish Gersch expert opinion on the subject. She hits the nail on the head with all of her great advice, tips, and recommendations. Baby-wearing can be a daunting experience with all of the different options and price tags. Today, the industry is booming, and information is easily available when you are ready to chose a carrier.

In my case, some people collect handbags, but I collect baby carriers and my personal favorites depend on who I am carrying and what we'll be doing. I love our easy to use soft-structured carrier for my chunky six-month-old son and a ring sling in a hip carry position with my thirty-five pound toddler Stella.

Read and print out the entire Crib Sheet about babywearing now.

Why Should I Wear My Baby?

Have you heard of the fourth trimester? Basically, it is the notion that after spending forty weeks snuggly inside of the womb, the first three months on the outside is an adjustment period for both mom and baby.  One of the best ways to provide those extra snuggles and loving is to wear your baby close.

If you ask my husband, he'll tell you that he likes baby-wearing because, “stroller are a pain” and “it sure beats chasing the toddler around a busy space.”

Said perfectly, I agree that baby-wearing doesn't have to be all or nothing, even if you are attachment parenting. Do what works for you, if it is more convenient to grab the stroller or use the cart at the grocery store then that is totally fine too!

Where Can I Get One?

The good news is that baby carriers are quickly becoming a favorite when it comes to planning a list of must haves. This has sparked the industry to really take off – making many options available in types and costs. Secretly, my favorite places to hunt down a coveted carrier is Craigslist, swap groups, or by putting a “in search of” out into the social universe. I agree that Amazon, Ebay, and sometimes Target have a good variety, but when I have friends looking for more affordable options, I always point them to Etsy.  You would be so surprised by how many mamas have created some amazing carriers of all types!

Choosing A Carrier

I would give the same recommendations as Lili Kalish Gersch! A soft stretchy wrap is best for infancy.  While a soft-structured carrier is a great “one fits all” option, I always like to bring up the forgotten ring sling. The ring sling is comfortable, almost always affordable, offers so many carry options, is my favorite to breastfeed in (all that extra fabric hanging down is a built in cover!), and comes in some fun color and fabric options. Recently I also discovered that the infant insert that is available for purchase works with many types of carriers aside from the one it is marketed with. I used mine in a mei tai and conversion wrap as well. Can't afford the insert? Don't let anyone fool you, a rolled up blanket works just as well in most cases!

How Can I Do This?

I couldn't agree more with Lili - “Knowing is half the battle.” Manuals are your best friend and these days you can easily look them up online. More complicated carrier with many position options usually come with a DVD, and if it didn't, then YouTube will most likely have an abundance of visual tutorials for you. Sometimes when we are at a playdate, a mama will pull out her carrier and ask for advice or for someone to check if she is using it right. So, don't be afraid to ask your “expert” friends too!

Safely And Comfortably Baby-Wearing

I agree with Lili, there is a right and wrong way to wear your baby so just remember these few tips and you should be okay!

• Close enough to kiss.
• Never with their head resting on their chest.
• Knees higher then butt!
• Head well supported.
• Absolutely no fabric covering baby's face.

Baby-wearing is meant to mimic the way we hold our babies. When you scoop your newborn up they will automatically pull their legs up into a “frog” position, which is most natural and comfortable to them. Avoid a carrier that cannot offer this position to your baby - often called “crotch danglers” - because these carriers can possibly lead to hip, leg, and spine problems.

My Baby Hates It!

I love Lili's take: “Babies smell fear.” They totally do! My son doesn't always love being worn or quits loving it after just a little while. The best thing you can do is to keep moving forward. Play with your carrier around the house for a dress rehearsal before you rely on it out and about. Try all the positions at home along with your baby. One thing I know for sure is that babies are fickle; one week, my son loves this carrier and the next week, he loves the one he hated a month ago.  This is why it is really nice to have an option or two on hand.

Before You Buy!

The best advice that I can pass along is to try before you buy! Thankfully, with a rise in interest in baby-wearing, a lot of baby boutiques offer the opportunity to do just that. Borrow a baby, bring your toddler... or if you're in a pinch... bring a sack of sugar and get a good feel for how the weight will be distributed on your particular body type. Then think, is it easy to operate? Can I buckle this with one hand? Does it have pockets for extra pacifiers? The worst thing you can do is hand over a hundred plus dollars and then hate the carrier you choose.

Check with your community recreation department or birth center too. I know my doula offers classes where you can get a hands on approach to learning about all the carriers out there, how to use them safely, and try some on before the class is over. I have even had luck finding comparison charts just like the ones we use when we chose a new cellphone!

What is your favorite carrier? Or what one would you love to get your hands on to try?

This post is part of the Absolute Beginners editorial series, made possible by Pampers and BlogHer. Our advertisers do not produce or approve editorial content.

Prayers for Rowan

In case you've noticed all the posts on social media, or if you haven't here's an update.  Rowan was taken to the hospital for dehydration from being sick by her dad a few days ago, only to find out she had Rotavirus.  Rotavirus can sometimes cause neurological problems and that's what we've been seeing happen to Rowan.  She was going downhill very fast, and the Rotavirus was causing Meningitis.  A breathing tube was put in for fear of her lungs failing next, so she is currently not breathing on her own.  There was a fear that she was having seizures, though that was disproved by an EEG which is really good news.  She was transferred from Kadlec  Hospital in the Tri-Cities to Mary Bridge Childrens' Hospital in Tacoma and is receiving excellent care, and everyone is very optimistic about the outcome. 

She has been stable and relaxed for the last 15 hours or so, though she is still heavily sedated.  She has been trying to open her eyes and breathe on her own.  They are hopeful that they will be able to remove the breathing tube later on today.  Thankyou for you continued prayers, love, and support, she is feeling every bit of it.  We have set up a Facebook page for more frequent updates, Prayers for Rowan, and if you are able to help Rowan's family financially a fund has been set up to donate, Donation Link.  

-Katie (Melissa's sister)

week twenty-six